Review: How We Lived by Erin Butler (Remembering Kyle #1)
"I can't believe I let myself think I could have you. How stupid." I laced my fingers behind my head. "You want to know why it was so stupid? Because I had hope. Being with you have me hope for me. Maybe I'm not the asshole everyone else thing I am. Maybe I'm not the worst fucking human being alive."
"Chase--"
"No, don't. I can take it from everyone else, just not you and Kyle. I took it from your parents because I got two best friends out of it. I take it from all these damn people who think the know me." I slumped onto the bed. "I lost you because of Kyle. I thought I'd finally gotten you back." I tried to find anything in her expression to tell me she really did want me. There was nothing. "But I guess I never really had you."
How We Lived was written by Erin Butler and was published in April 2014. I bought the ebook on Amazon in November 2014 and it's taken me over a year to make time to read it. How the hell could I have allowed such a thing to happen? I'm seriously hanging my head in shame right now and the main reason I'm confessing to this book blunder of mine is so that the rest of you who have yet to read How We Lived do not follow in my embarrassing missteps. This new adult (NA) love story was heartrendingly beautiful to read, making pause a time or two to wonder what I would have done had I been in the same position as the sister who lost her brother to a car accident or that of the best friend who unwittingly caused said accident. There's a great deal of grief and guilt in this moving story, but there are also equal amounts of hope and absolution and these feelings and emotions aren't limited to main characters Kelsey Larkin and Chase Crowley. The pain left behind by the passing of Kyle Larkin lingers throughout a great portion of the book.
Siblings Kyle and Kelsey Larkin were Chase Crowley's best friends from the time their families lived next door to each other, but Kyle's untimely death shattered not just the lives of Kelsey and Chase but those of the people who knew and loved Kyle. The fact that Chase was behind the wheel when the car that had him, Kyle, and their other best friend Bear Pearse crashed is what has him becoming persona non grata in their hometown. The thing that struck me most about Chase was how he was dealing with his own feelings of guilt and grief. Knowing he was the cause of the car accident that took Kyle from him and Kyle's family eats away at him, but he also deals with it in more productive ways. This makes him a memorable character and is the reason why it's difficult to cast him as an evil monster. It wasn't just Kelsey and her parents who lost Kyle, but Chase as well, and the burdens weighing upon him feel greater because he has to live with both the knowledge of his role and consequences of his impaired decision-making and actions.
As for Kelsey, my heart went out to her as much as it broke for Chase. Kyle's death had her losing, not just her brother, but two of her best friends--Kyle and Chase. When their feelings for one another can no longer be ignored, she's put in the uncomfortable position of owning up to what her heart wants and needs and not wanting to bring even more pain to her parents, Bear, and those close to Kyle by being open about her love for Chase. It's almost as if she's forced to choose between the brother she will always love and the best friend she's falling in love with and there are certain expectations made of her, many of which were unfair. To be honest, I couldn't really fault any member of the cast of characters for how they acted and reacted in the story, because it felt authentic and believable. Their feelings, thoughts, and actions are what make them human and I know the probability of me doing the same was quite high. How We Lived is a book that touched my heart and touched upon experiences that break but do also mend us. Five-plus stars. ♥
Date Read: 18 December 2015
Learn more about Erin Butler.
Purchase How We Lived on Amazon | B&N | Kobo.
Siblings Kyle and Kelsey Larkin were Chase Crowley's best friends from the time their families lived next door to each other, but Kyle's untimely death shattered not just the lives of Kelsey and Chase but those of the people who knew and loved Kyle. The fact that Chase was behind the wheel when the car that had him, Kyle, and their other best friend Bear Pearse crashed is what has him becoming persona non grata in their hometown. The thing that struck me most about Chase was how he was dealing with his own feelings of guilt and grief. Knowing he was the cause of the car accident that took Kyle from him and Kyle's family eats away at him, but he also deals with it in more productive ways. This makes him a memorable character and is the reason why it's difficult to cast him as an evil monster. It wasn't just Kelsey and her parents who lost Kyle, but Chase as well, and the burdens weighing upon him feel greater because he has to live with both the knowledge of his role and consequences of his impaired decision-making and actions.
As for Kelsey, my heart went out to her as much as it broke for Chase. Kyle's death had her losing, not just her brother, but two of her best friends--Kyle and Chase. When their feelings for one another can no longer be ignored, she's put in the uncomfortable position of owning up to what her heart wants and needs and not wanting to bring even more pain to her parents, Bear, and those close to Kyle by being open about her love for Chase. It's almost as if she's forced to choose between the brother she will always love and the best friend she's falling in love with and there are certain expectations made of her, many of which were unfair. To be honest, I couldn't really fault any member of the cast of characters for how they acted and reacted in the story, because it felt authentic and believable. Their feelings, thoughts, and actions are what make them human and I know the probability of me doing the same was quite high. How We Lived is a book that touched my heart and touched upon experiences that break but do also mend us. Five-plus stars. ♥
Date Read: 18 December 2015
Learn more about Erin Butler.
Purchase How We Lived on Amazon | B&N | Kobo.
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